And so it begins

GE was announced today. I kind of just want to hole up and cry about the amount of work, the 17 billion gazillion things waiting for me to do. I need a break. I've planned it already.

Doing this job made me realised how much I've just been shoved into deep waters. Sometimes I just want to shout out loud, "NEED HAND HOLDING NOT READY. WILL NEVER BE READY." Insecurity and stress.

It can be a few things.

1 insecurity eating me up

2 I'm lonely. very.

3 in need in need in need.

4 tired.

5 dont want to face the world.

6 I could be so much happier.

This entry is not coherent. But it's been a while since I have been.

I wish I was away now.

Screw up.

I screwed up badly at work today. Like I've been telling everyone, it's my fault only not really. I'm new so there are a lot of details I'm unaware of. And I'm unaware that I am unaware. Objectively it's still my fault.

If I did more research, look further and deeper, had more foresight I could have prevented it.

Instead my strongest excuse is I was unaware. How stupid is that.

And the guilt. The problem with being in hr is that you screwing up, means screwing with people's career, life. Not just myself. It would be much easier if so.