Do you have that perfect smile?

it's just you me and kitty.

There are many things in life that I want. I want to dream and fly away. I want to run as if I was free. I want to be able to run off to the great open lands, run so fast and never loose my breath. Imagine if we could run away from everything in our lives, we could be free spirits, forget to eat have frozen fingers and noses. Maybe then we will be happy.

Pleased like a cat snoozing in the sun.

Finally a sem where efforts sort of = results.

Have to say I am pretty contented tho. Warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy. I am really looking forward to the Melbourne trip now. =D

Also, finally a full A and for a level 4000 mod at that! The joy!

NEW TOY YO.

I HAZ NEW LAPTOPS. SHE IS SO PRETTAAAY.

Hahas. ASUS Ultra Slim. Like a fake Mac. Lol.

Anyways, Windows 7 is pretty neat. And it's super super fast. OMG how long has it been since I've watched youtube on my own laptop. I am in absolute private heaven. HOHOHO.

She be gone.

My dearest laptop that is. =\

She died while my Dad was trying to reformat her. Oh wells, time for a new laptop!

GREEN

Today we celebrated Green Leader's belated birthday.

Once again I am reminded how lovely and special these green people are. They've become very important friends. One reason why I've enjoyed my university life is thanks to them.

lessthanthree DJ-REX

I haz spechul friends.

Me: I've been giving intensive tuitioning to my Korean kid

KW: why the intensitivity?

Me: cause she has a test tmr to see if she can enter Teck Whye Pri 4.

KW: oooh, so where was she from previously?

Me: Korea.

Me: LOL.

Me: KAIWEI.

It hasn't hit me yet.

My exams are over! Like finally. This sem has been horribly exhaustive. I am vv glad it's over. Like super glad!

But now once again I am faced with no aim in life. =\

I don't know how to start relaxing! XD But today was a brilliant start! A whole day out with PS girls! Lovely, caught a rather interesting movie too, The Informant. Matt Damon is one brilliant actor!

And now a list of things to do.

1. Pack my room. It's in war state once again.

2. Meet people. Like xz and xj.

3. Catch up on fiction reading.

4. Catch more movies, with cheap student discounts.

5. Snap snap snap!

Hold on if you feel like letting go.

Okay, totally not the time to get all emotional and feel like crap.

But these are words I wished I told you, long ago.

Sometimes, I forget. Sometimes the pain is so bad, I can feel it physically. There are still nights where I cry myself to sleep.

I could probably say things like "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy".

But I guess that's kind of pointless.

Oh god.

I keep finding new lows.

I wish I wasn't so pathetic.

If I had a cape.

I would spread my arms and fly.

I would travel the world, visit the seas and pop by a couple of oceans.

I would tell you the colour of the sky is blue, green and a dash of redyelloworange.

I would skip jams, never be late.

I wouldn't mind the cold.

I would pretend to be a super hero.

To save you.

But I don't.

Oh well. Life.

I still want to save you though.

People

There are some people in my life that I have to take 200% to even stay in contact, be relevant and seem important. (so what do I mean to you? probably nothing.)

Yet there are some whom I don't bother, but we end up back with each other anyway. We disagree, go through stages of being irritated, but a few months later we're out laughing again. The relationship, it's like siblings. We gravitate to one another, even if we're not happy about it at times.

Funny how the people I put in 200% seems to care about me 20% and my 'siblings' are always, always there when I need them.

So I'm still waiting. Cause you're one of my first 'sibling'. I could never run away from you. I will wait.

Study? What study?

So instead of studying for the stupid visual test tmr, or being productive and working on my two essays due the end of the week, I spend time creating playlists for the year end trip to Melbourne.

Words and pictures alone are not enough to describe the awesome feeling of freedom you get when on a road trip. It's like flying a never ending kite, it's like forever looking out to the never ending sea.

It's an exhilarating mix of control and lack of control.

I hope you dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder, where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone)

-Leann Womack

This is a post purely for me.

We can all do with some happy.

This is a birthday girl.

<3

HAIRPEE DAY

involves chocolate, a romp and an awesome friend.

Thanks. =)

Geek\Nerd\Whatever

I am not cool.

Happy Dilemma

The Dad be willing and wanting to buy another camera before the year end Melbourne trip! Now there is a happy decision to be made!!!

VS

What do you guys (484848) think?

Hold on.

I wish I told you so.

Point A to Point B

I've always held a certain fascination for landmines. A weapon not to kill but to maim. I'm not sure which is worse, but landmines seem to have this inherent cruelness about them and the way they are used. Maybe because most of the time victims are civilians not soldiers.

On Monday, for arms control we watched a documentary on landmine activists and some of the work they do. This brought back memories of a documentary I watched on Discovery not long ago. It's really heart breaking watching kids have stumps instead of legs and feet. When walking to school involves walking over a known mind field.

So go on. Be emo about being a poor student living in Singapore. Take everything for granted.

And some people wonder, "What's it like to get from Point A to Point B without help?"

NYA NYA

Instead of continuing to being a slave to my arms control essay, I started googling around cameras. More specifically, I was googling around to see if I could lay my hands on one of this:

http://www.superheadz.com/cat-holga/index.html

It is the NYA NYA CAMERA. Cause nya is the Japanese sound for 'meow' and this camera makes assorted cat nya-ing noises whenever you snap a picture. HOHOHO.

The thing is. I can't find it anywhere online to buy. There are like a bunch of reviews for the camera, but no where I can buy it! Most of it only ships to the US. SADFACESADFACE.

Would you like a gargantuan meatball?

Watched "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" with C and ML today. Hohoho. It was a last minute decision between C and I and we decided to bully ML into watching it with us. =DDD T'was not bad! Many bad puns, but it became characteristic of the show. However I am now much terrified of roasted chicken and gummy bears.

It's confirmed! I'm going to Melbourne AGAIN this December. With the family this time. We'll probably do the Great Ocean Road and Morrington area so I am still pretty excited! =D Road trips are always fun and the GOR is really very beautiful. Holidays with the parents also means I can relax and not think about budgets or schedules. Less freedom, but less worries. Give and take people!

EGAD! I slammed the sliding toilet door on my left thumb nail. So now it's cracked. I'm wondering if I should wipe off all my BRIGHT PINK nail polish, cut my nails short and colour them black/matte blue. But I just got my manicure exactly a week ago. And I actually like the pink. DDDD= My nails are strong, but kind of brittle. meh.

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY.

Days which start with good company and good food are excellent days. =D

Hatched with ms chan, michyyy, 珍珠 and best friend. I think every week should include a chilling session where we sit with coffee and talk about anything under the sun.

Next was off to me chan's house to see COCO. OMG I heartheartheart animals!! The dog is adorable! And bites. But still adorable. Besides, everything is good with ms chan's mother's legendary tea. A sip of it, and you're at peace with the world. =DDD

Okay so I haven't actually gotten down to doing any work or studying. But googling and looking at wall decals inspired me to finally put to use the decals michyyy got for me when she was in Macau! Hahas, finally! But that is not the best part! The best, most excellent, stupendous, result was me garnering enough motivation and PACKED ME ROOM. It's all spick and span! There are areas of floor and table I had no recollection off! =DDDDDDDDDD

Now let's see how long this lasts. hehs.

Now this is a whining post.

Fall is coming and I'm not somewhere that can experience it.

Take me there. Let's fly away.

Today the weather is on an extreme.

Once again in my life of a student I am faced with the motivation to impress my professor with my paper. My arms control professor is so knowledgeable it kind of hurts. My motivation might also stem from getting a =| after doing well for the presentation. Must balance the =| out!

Which explains my borderline crazy frenzy in stripping the library of all its books on CWC. Also explains why although I am low in moolaas, I cabbed home today. It's really no joke lugging those books back home.

Which also led to me meeting chatty cab driver. Which usually I dislike. A lot. But today's chatty cab driver was actually vvvv interesting. I think he knows more about cross-straits politics then I do! Hahas. This was great fun, except half the time he was rambling on in hokkien and all I could do was smile and nod. I don't speak hokkien. XD

THIS IS NOT AN ESSAY RELATED POST

Hahas. Finally. No datelines looming in immediate sight.

My fb and blog have been my constant outlets to whine and get attention about my essay writing-woes. But here be a breather! Oh god, I've missed this.

My nails are a hot bright pink right now. OPI's cherry blossom. Juan and I discovered OPI's suede collection which looks damn sexy, but I am still vvv much in love with C's Channel purple. HOHO.

Don't think I can bring myself to spend moolaas I do not have.

I have an itching urge to cook pasta like I did when I was in the UK. But once again $$ issues, one bottle of pesto is like $9. I totally need a source of income. But wait! I am totally looking forward to Hatched this weekend, since it promises good breakfast (EGGS EGGS EGGS) at a comfy moolaa level.

I sincerely think my laptop is acting up. It has come to a point when I can sense it's crankiness and have to restart it. Also, itunes decided to go funky and now all my playlists are GONE. I spent hours making them!!!!! The shuffle function is going on overdrive right now. One good thing is I am rediscovering all the music I did not realise I have, but must have downloaded at some point in my life. Like all the old chinese music I was into during secondary school. Like Savage Garden. Like random Japanese music from ZC.

It's good to be happy HAIRPEE. I am going to cut my hair. Maybe tmr. Who knows! =D

THIS IS A PLEA.

My professor wants me to write an essay based on material he provided in class. Having understood the material, he wants us to apply it to a real case.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MATERIAL.

I understand like bits and pieces.

OH GOD. Why do I have so many datelines. It's like running a marathon and then a biathlon and then a triathlon, and oh LOOK! ANOTHER 300KM TO GO. YAY.

New shoes new shoes.

I am always vvv excited about buying new shoes. The pure happiness of just walking around in them in the house when they are brand new is worth every penny I paid for them. HOHOHO.

It's just even better when I don't have too. =D

Today I forewent two meet ups with friends for 1. School work 2. Family. Felt bad but priorities, priorities. Am I slowly losing any semblance of social life? Probably, but school work really needs to be a focus now.

Year 4 year 4.

May angels lead you in.

So what would you think of me now,

so lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

now I'll never have a chance.

Procrastinate even with the lack of time.

DEADLINE.

Thank you dinner was fun, mostly cause our table was the most happening. Even if all we did was remain in our seats, eat non stop and were embarrassingly loud throughout the entire thing.

Looking at the closeness of the new ocoms makes me smile, cause no matter how much we bitch, it's nice to see others forming friendships and working towards the exciting fops!

I lovelovelove the U06s so so so much. Makes me really glad I joined artscamp07 way back then!

And now it's back to the cruel reality of essays. LOTS OF THEM.

oh Life.

Just after I reject the Dad getting me a macbook,

lovely acer decides to act up. My keys are dying one by one.

Project Be Nice

It's time to restart PBN. I need to start feeling good about myself.

1. LESS BITCHING PLEASE.

2. Less angst.

3. Less neediness.

4. Let go.

5. Less irritation. (this is gonna be hard.)

Smile and watch the Sun. I have things to do.

COLD

I miss the kind of cold where your fingers tingle and your face is like ice. When you can't stop sniffling and your nose and ears hurt. When you have to wear hats and scarves are your best friend. When sitting under the covers of your bed with good company and good food is heaven. When walking in boots is warm but hard cause the floor is frozen. When you actually have to consume your food within five minutes from taking it off the stove cause it cools too quickly. When steamboat is an excellent idea. When watching fireworks, you love the crowd cause they block the wind.

NO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME.

go baby go go.

1. Meet ups all around.

2. I am in deep need of some moolahs.

3. Totally want to get a macbook.

4. Totally for asthetic reasons.

5. I am simple like that.

6. Want to get some bags and shoes.

7. A girl can't have too many shoes.

8. Totally feeling the heat of year 4.

9. It's impossible for me to finish my readings.

10. I agreed to something with half a heart.

11. C 7 days. HJ castle E elope

12. Nissin Cup Noodles. LESSTHENTHREE X 100000

13. Today was a HAIRPEE day.

14. I love my friends. Every single one of you. Even those who annoy me.

Pretend Pretend Pretend

Avoid Avoid Avoid

Hide Hide Hide

Doing only the things I like.

BKK09

I guess this is the end of the beginning of the end of the beg...

There are many things I don't understand anymore. Innate inherant things are no longer at the touch of my finger tips. Probably my fault and no one else. Maybe, but it takes two to clap.

I like the concept of Realism. Because it looks at Ifs and Maybes and Whatcouldhavebeens and laugh in their faces. Except once in a while I'ld like to be able to dream.

I still think regrets are a waste of time. Not reflection, but regret. I still think mopping is a waste of energy.

But that doesn't mean we shouldn't stop for a while.

I think. I haven't really stopped in a while.

Not since 8 years ago.

OW

I have a splitting headache.

and it just won't GO. AWAY.

The Dad.

GUAIZ GUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIZ.

MY DAD IS ON FACE BOOK. MY FB BITCHING IS GOING TO HIT ROCK ZERO KAY?

ohemgee.

I should not will not do not need to feel guilty.

Should have taken a few steps back earlier.

Japan07

I miss Japan. Those days were so fun.

I'll be back Fuji-san.

私を待ってください。

I give up.

This isn't working. Forget it.

I'll just be here waiting. Because clearly, I've been doing that well enough for two years.

So go on. Make me wait.

GEE

I am determinded to infect everybody with this song.

When we are young

let's do something on the impluse. Something stupid, irrational, terrifying. Let's test our limits, get drunk, stay awake for a week and maybe two days more. Live unhealthily and laugh it off. Let's pretend the future is far far away, further than the year we have left. Let us waste hours and words, waste these precious times. Let's get hurt and cry till our noses are red and our eyes are raw. We could pretend we're 17 again and everything is within reach but when we reach out we only grasp air. Let's wander around with no aim, no direction, no guilt, no burden. These can wait.

Go for a ride with me?

Greeeen is in our Blood!

Greeeeen peoples are all kinds of awesomes. They kidnaped me and took me to some secluded HDB void deck in CCK. When they removed my blindfold this sight awaited me,

<3

Spent the rest of the night playing with asthma inducing sparkles and catching up!

I <3 the artsyfartsy people!

Thank You! <3

It's a happy day!

Thank you to all the sweet hearts for the birthday wishes and blessings! <3

10 Years down and we're all still together. Happy happy evening!

I am a single glove.

The National Gallery, London.

Sometimes I feel like an afterthought. A forgotten glove till it gets cold.

Birthday wish

I am someone who places great importance on friends. You know this.

But I think you'll never know just really how important you truely are to me.

And half the fault, lies with me. Sorry.

Is making amends now too late?

tech-no-logic

So, folks, I've dropped to the deep end and signed up for Twitter. Except Camy and I are utterly confused by the set up and page. CONFUSING. Also, they have character limits, it brings new meaning to microblogging and mini-komunication.

Facebook, Friendster, Blogging, Gmailchat.

OMG. so many platforms.

Back when I first started using the internet to talk to people, there was only the too cool ICQ and IRC with it's many scripts.

Kind of miss using them.

These days when I venture out to meet friends after 4 days of hibernating, I set off from my house half an hour earlier than needed.

I spend about 10mins petting the kitty at the void deck. It purrs and flips and sometimes bats my ear phones away.

Then I arrive half an hour early and waste 1dollar buying a couple of bottles of water.

When the water is finished and I feel lonely enough, I go meet whoever I'm meeting.

Brother chronicles

So just recently my brother and I decided to add each other on MSN. Being the pirate that I am I was showing the various websites I use to grab mp3s and vids from youtube.

Anyways, he has decided that I am an excellent entertainment provider and for the past half hour has been bugging me with "I am bored" "what are you doing now" "where to watch XX and YY?"

In exasperation I showed him a youtube vid of the MV of the song of the band-who-shall-not-be-named (because I look down on myself too. =\\\).

Me:watch this if you're sooo bored.

10mis later

B: wth is this

B: crap song

Me: .....-_-

B: nvm i go youku.com watch movie

meeh. =\

I feel like getting hot red glasses just because I can.

Spend spend spend all the moolahs I do not have.

My iTunes used to have shitloads of Chinese music, mostly from my secondary school days. Much as I frequently point out CSS was a very maat experience for me, I think it was then I listened to the most Chinese music. So now I am very much wondering where have all my Sun Yan Zi/Jay Chou/Energy/Jolin mp3s have gone to. Because I don't delete music, period. iTunes is telling me I have a grand total of 134 Chinese songs and 895 Japanese songs. I refuse to believe this. I had FULL ALBUMS of Chinese music. WHERE FORE ARE THOU? (or thee?)

Unless they are like instrumental. Japanese singles come with them more often then not.

Usually not not.

It seems I'm really just a selfish person at heart.

Which is why it takes me 3 seconds to fall into a bad mood.

Today is a happiness day! Finally met up with ShiJia after 2 years! =DDDD It was great just catching up and talking! Aha, really like a sister to me. Tennis after that was an excellent workout! I really like racket sports.

Should really start squashing again. I miss the burn of heat and sweat pouring down your forehead.

I could do without the screaming thighs 10hours later tho.

Dinner was great fun, even if half the conversation was about oral hygene. And I do believe not many people can boast about having a dentist stare down their mouth, at their teeth at KFC after eating a meltycheese thingy meal.

Well, now I can. XD

This is an update. 

Dedicated to CAMY.

I am jobless. Lookings for jobs.

I have been getting crazy spammy emails. From someone I don't particularly like.

My nails are a pretty blue. I cannot wait to use done up in deco.

Flea fy fo fum, yes it's pretty fun!

This has been an update.

Dedicated to Camy Tan.

I've been on a 90s music run ever since that picnic to celebrate best friend's birthday. It helps that the Melbourne radio stations likes to play music from that era, like Spice Girls and old Oasis songs.

So for the past half hour as I continue to dump resumes and crack my brain over my cover letters, I've been loading Savage Garden songs from youtube to play. Except you know, it's more of just listening to the songs and occasionally belting out the lyrics, not that I'm actually watching the funky music videos. Of course it only hits me now that I actually have both the CDs. =|

Withdrawed my graduation application yesterday and went down to SRC after that to take a look at artscamp09 precamp. OMG arstcamp09, 

09

09.

I was a freshie in 06! God I feel old. But it helped I was with Zac, so he will foverever be two years older. Hehs.

Kinda sad that I don't know anyone from my house anymore. I love my greenies and while being in ocom meant that I had less chance to interact there were afterall friendly faces. So it's weird to stare at a sea of green and not find them familiar. 

Oh artscamp, my NUS life is half filled by what you gave me, but I think it's really time to move on.

Melbourne is

- meeting new peoples and hanging out with them
- feasting on seafood under the pretense picnic-ing
- picnics are excellent in cool weather.
- aussie parks are actually green and the grass is not wet to sit on.
- two girls going on a road trip to a mountain
- enjoying the drive up and down, reading complicated maps and braving the rain
- baking scones and bread pudding
- sleeping in and tramming to Queen vic market
- bumming around and outlet shopping
- chancing upon the funkiet stuff
- enjoying good dinners with friends
- going to the police station =\ money money money
- roaming around aimlessly and more shopping
- eating nandos for the first time. =DDD chicken!


- CHECKING MY RESULTS AND REALISING I UPPED MY CAP TO 3.5 SO FOURTH YEAR HERE I COME BABY!!!

TEEVEEE

So, there's a chance Ms Hon and I will be on TV.

We were filmed in one of those gotcha! just for laughs, thingy yesterday when walking towards the Ancient Civilisation Museum. HAHAHAHAS. For like half an hour, we couldn't concentrate on KangXi and instead kept thinking of how we somewhat got tricked.

Hahahas!!!

It was really quite funny, at least for us! Museums was great fun! The KangXi exhibition was really impressive. Ms Hon was highly amused by the family tree and his 50over children. Asl popped by the National Museum, I swear, I'm starting to be able to memorise the script from the companion. Hahas, but the two mobile exhibitions was great fun. The furniture room thing was pretty fun to goof around in. And there was a costume disign exhibition! Oh great funs! =DDD

I HAZ AN ADDICTIONZ PROBLEMS GUAIZZ

My youtubing addiction has gotten to a rather scary stage. I need to visit Mr Sun a little more.

And today was an excellent day in the sun. To think I almost decided not to leave my house and turn into a full shut-in. XD

Picnic at Marina Barrage was great fun. I fully believed we irritated/amused everyone who could hear and see us. Rowdy bunch of people cam-whoring and later shouting out boyband songs in the night sky.  Late 1990s and early 2000s songs are the awesomes. =DDD

Bed hair.

I have a backlog of blog entries that will probably never see the light of day. It seems along with exams ending, my ability to write in coherent sentences has gone too. oh wells.

Finished watching CHANGE last night. OMG so good the show. Totally understand why ML and Best Friend finished it in one shot. (It's just straight 10 simple hours!) Don't undertand how 48 could stop at episode 8 for something called sleep.

psh. Clearly sleep is not so important to me.

Anyways, the show is good, but oh so idealistic. It touches on bringing the power back to the people, which ideally is what democracy is. Government of the people, by the people, for the power.

Ah, idealism.

Woke up this morning from the need to visit the little loo. Took one step in and fell. Mind-numbing pain but just bruises. Got along with things and went back to bed, pulled the cover over my head and my right hand felt wet. Peeled open my bleary eyes to find my hand covered with blood. Totally not exergerating. Flinched and realised I had a giant gash on my ring finger which was continuously pouring out blood. Go me. After bandaging and stuff, I traced a trail of blood from the bathroom (where I fell!!!) to my bed and my sheets. =\ 

Laundry day.

Flea fy foe!

Today be fleamarket day! Hope it doesn't rain.

Have re-read Angels & Demons in anticipation of the movie. In retrospec, not exactly the best thing to do because any changes to the main details in the movie is going to make me DDD=. But anways, Tom Hanks and his mullet mane is enough to DDD= me already.

Taken from the ever reliable wikipedia:

Insomnia is a symptom of a sleeping disorder characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity. Insomnia is a symptom, not a stand-alone diagnosis or a disease.

So pray tell me, what disease have I been suffering from for the past Idon'tknow 5 years? Just that it's really gotten worse this semester. I don't think I'm that stressed, a la A levels, but the fact remains that I CAN'T SLEEP. 

I can't sleep at night and when I finally fall asleep at 6am I wake up a mere 5 hours later and can't go back to sleep. I don't even take naps anymore and they used to be staple. Taking long bus rides are not as appealing anymore because even then I don't fall asleep when it used to do the trick!

It's like the only time I get a full bodied 8hour snooze is when I've been awake for 48+ hours and my body justs crashes.

It's pretty frustrating and making me vvvv cranky in ways I shouldn't be. Might explain the breakout on my face too. =\

Oh woe is me.

Exams are over. Yay yay!! 

Things to do/I want to do.

- plan Melbourne trip.

- plan the 8th PS dinners.

- find things to sell for 9th May

- do origami (random!)

- pack the room

- pack/burn notes.

- FIND INTERN/JOB NEED THE MOOLAHS.

- decorate the wall, i.e. get rid of the postcards collection.

- do something about the sleep debt.

- watch youtube.

This list will be updated.

Happiness is coming home from a depressing examination to a lovely postcard from lovely RARA!!

<3<3<3<3<3<3

Love you Rara!!!

So recently all over the news is the Ren Ci monk scandal and my parents can't stop talking about it. Mainly because my grandfather stayed at the Ren Ci hospital a few months before he passed on. 

Brings me back to when I was in JC and the NKF thing with T.T. Durai happened. I remember talking with friends and in class about it. I remember having a rather stimulating exchange with my form teacher about the PR issues, what it means for Singapore, what it means for NKF, how it affects Singapore society...yadda yadda.

But what I remember very very clearly, was whenever I read any article I kept staring at the words T.T. Durai because...

...I kept seeing the emoticon T.T

T.T

Very clearly I have issues. -_-"""""

So, I came across some blog ranting on racism and how Mandrin and Cantonese are not the same and yadda yadda, that is sucks to be called all kind of races, EXCEPT, ya know. The correct one.

Okay. I spent 4 months getting various "OHHAAAAYO? ANEHASEAYOOOOO? NIHAAOOO?" I even got mistaken for being Thai. WTF??? Seriously. 

The first few times it was pretty funny, the next 4355388953 times provided rolleyes worthy momments. 

But you know, I don't get all angry about it. I mean seriously, we may hate being confused as China Chinese, but that isn't going to change the fact that to most Caucasians we look like China Chinese, or Japanese, or Korean, or a lot of other fair skin dark hair Asians. So ya know, it's not really their fault they confuse us.

It's like I can't tell a French from a British from a American, until they speak, and even then I'm not sure.

So take a chill pill. If need be, spend twenty miniutes explaining the difference between nationality and race. Ignorance is bad, but you're worse if you don't enlighten.

Racsim goes both ways. You can be a victim of racsim coming from yourself.

Random super-productive spurt has cause Evelyn to finish her VERY LAST DEADLINE two days before the actual deadline. Is very very very pleased. :DDD May have something to do with the rabid teas drinking, the inability to sleep (THE LAST TIME I WAS ASLEEP WAS TUESDAY MORNING) and the looking forward to tomorrow's date with Juan + XH. :DDDD

School today was all sorts of useless and all sorts of amusing.

8am lecture ended at 9am. Luckily I found it useful cause you know, haven't been reading the readings. Then there was this blurry 3 hour wait till the next lecture of which I ate, drank, talk craps with the peoples and was super productive with michy when it came to printing mroe readings I should have read. :| 

12noon lecture started at 12noon and ended at 1208. Oh joy is us. We were vvvv stunned. And dear 48 stepped into class at 1208, just in time to see the last slide. Oh happiness! But really, 48 seems to have a knack for these sort of unwelcomed perfect timings. XD

If I graduate, this is my last week in school. 

Are you ready Evelyn?

So while doing my HY2254 project, I cam across a picture showing what seems like a night race with a caption:

"A 3000-strong crowd gathers to watch hell-riders tear down the Orchard Road-Peneng Road "circuit". Some spectators formed a human barrier to precent other vehicles from entering the 'race-track" - Francic Ong 1977. (160 years of The Straits Times in Pictures)

1977.

Clearly, the people of Singapore were more progressive than the government who rejected F1, only to court it back years later.

I wish I could just fuck care everything and run away.

Except, staying and being miserable requires less courage. 

Much less.

blue sky and never ending greens.

we frolic and walk.

the sun is bright, we don't need silly coats.

this is what I miss.

OH EM GEE.

...this accurately summarises my life right now.

JS2222 litreview is slowly but surely killing my brain cells. I STAYED UP 2HOURS MORE THAN I PLANNED YESTERDAY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT EXACTLY I COULD TRY TO WRITE TO SATISFY BOTH THE CRITERIA AND MY POMPUS PS-IFIED NEED TO WRITE PS-LIKE ESSAYS. also, I have this vvv strong urge to impress thiamthiam, cause achieving that would be like getting an A.

or better. A+ yo.

Some people earn respect without trying. Others need to learn to respect other first.

But anyways, the 2 hours was well spent, cause I now actually have a flow going on. But the chance to impress thiamthiam is flying away. NOT SO IMPT KAY. ND TO ACTUALLY WRITE SMTH FIRST YO.

To celebrate I am taking an underserved hour break. I use it to blog, stalk other blogs and feel emo. I put yellowcard's version of Don't You Forget About Me from their MTV performance on a loop and read this secondary school kid's blog and get all emo. CAUSE LIKE SHE WRITES SO WELL YO. BETTER THAN MANY OTHER UNIVERSITY-LEVEL WRITERS YO.

It's like, here as you listen to emo music, read stuff that smacks you in your face and tells you you fail at life so hard, because you have at least 5 years of education up hers and still she whups your ass with like 5 lines.

OH EM GEE. fail. fail at life.

Also. I am craving masala tea from Komala's. ARRRRGH. I JUST WANT TO STRIKE SOMETHING OUT.

So like I finally got the camera back.

But not the cable. SO SMART EVELYN. WAY TO GO YO. so no photos for my posts yet. =\

I think I used to have a life. It seems so far away, long ago.

I am up to neck with dealines and yet. Procrastination, life is your creation.

Project be nice not going too well. I manged not to be bitchy for the first 10mins of class though. I consider that an accomplishment. :D But still thiamthiam totally used me again. meh.

Parents decided to run off to Malaysia, failing to inform me till the day before and failing entirely to inform the brother. So romantic right? Except they're going there for qingming. =| As such, the house is vvvv empty. So beeg and only me.

DEADLINES EVELYN. START DOING TO KEEP CROSSING.

bitchywednesday was totally bitchy again.

THIAM THIAM TOTALLY USES ME FOR BITCHYNESS CAN.

And stereotype, i feel sort of kinda bad. but...whoops. 

BUT ANYWAYS. the new plan is to BE NICE. Like Kaiweewee or mh. 

BE NICE BE NICE BE NICE.

Also, coordinated PMS peoples. Guess who I've been hanging out too much with.

Recently I appear to be working very hard, being diligent. It's called catching up people.

Foodhunt tmr. I've just realised I am the unfit fat pig in my group of love birds.

GREAT. =\

oh wells. this is life.

Also I totally need my camera back.

I'm in the central library studying with mh. We haven't done this since we were year 1. 

It's like coming home.

I'm experiencing so many ups and downs now, happiness one moment, sadness and more often than not irritation.

So this feels good. This brings me back to when I was year 1 with more motivation to study. (less will, but more motivation. XD)

I'm happy. :)

When you're confused you do stupid things.

Stupid things that drag the people around you down with you.

I don't think they're confused like you are. They're just confused on how to help your confusion. So they get dragged along.

It's hurting people. It's hurting you.

You do things that break trust. I can't stand this trust situation.

I'm not supposed to be part of it. But I can't help getting sucked into it too.

But what do I know? I've never been confused.

Sometimes you just want to be selfish. To put yourself first.

Recently I seem to be doing it a lot more. Self-pity and all. I'm acting spoilt. And I probably am.