MOZART & THE WHALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kooky kooky show. i love it. i want the vcd. now.

dear tutee number one,

you are great. you do work and listen. it would be nice if you actually remember what i teach you. it would be nicer if you remember after i've taught you the same thing every lesson continuosly. it would also be nice if you stopped handing up blank questions. it would also be in your dog's health interest if it would stop pawwing me with its suspiciously long nails. and yes. i can tell when you rush through your homework.

sincerely, your scratched tutor.

dear tutee number two,

it is weird that you love doing my work...or any work for that matter. but nevermind, i don't mind the fact you give yourself homework. i do mind that you handwritting is as legible as a baby's scrawling. i do mind that you refuse to speak up and instead nod your head so slightly i have to wonder if you're nodding or have a head twitch that works up everytime i ask you; "understand?".

sincerely, your confused tutor.

dear tutee number three,

i understand our age difference is about 5years. thus we can be all pally-pally and friendly and chitchatty. however I AM YOUR FREAKING TUTOR. the very least i deserve that respect. so it would be less insulting if you did your freaking work when i say so. the fact that you are damn lazy to write is probably a legitimate excuse, but it's also the DUMBEST EXCUSE ever. it's freaking english. you have to write damnit.

sincerely, your very pissed tutor.

do you have a dream? like say earn your first million before reaching thrity? or having ten kids and fourteens grandkids before sixty? or finding a cure to some weird diesease? dreams and aspirations like that.

i don't.

which is why i'm doubting myself. my aims my goals my entire existence. i seriously don't know what i want out of life. i'm not religious so i don't really know what to expect for afterlife. if it's all science, then my body stops functioning and nothing really happens. if we get to go to some kind of heaven...i'm really can't be bothered to get in. throw me into the pits of enternal fire. you're dead. fire can't hurt much now can it?

arrgh. i'm seriously irritated right now. which would explain my semi-anti-socialness.

i don't want to start school. i don't like change. i'll probably get all depressed and pissed.

i have no idea what i want.

isn't that sad?

recieved a random call from amylee today. she was asking where nyjc was.

lee: very fast one, where's ny ah?
me: eh. serengoon.
lee: serengoon where?
me:eh...serengoon.
lee:no specifics ah?
me: hahahahahas....eh.....av 4?
lee: okay thanks! hah.

it turned out to be at av3 XP. but she got there fine so....i never knew my school's add, even css. jurong east st...something. hahahahs!

anyways just yesterday i was at ny with jia to collect the damn cert which i DID NOT EVEN RECIEVE A DAMN LETTER ASKING TO TO COLLECT IT!!! i heard of it through word of mouth alright?!?!?!?! urgh. anyway it was weird, the whole school was dead. even the staff room was closed. luckily the general office was open. no way would i have slogged down again to ny just for the cert.

anyways i half miss school and half don't ever want my present life to stop. i have to go uni shopping tho. jia? jun? mh? anyone? whee.

i'm not in happy mode. i feel kind off burnt out. ousted. i feel like i'm being humoured. like nice things done for me are just a show. i feel like i'm being treated as though i'm a fool. as though i can't see through lies.

but that's what sensitive (borderline paranoid) me can see through best. i know when people are trying to shake me off. i know it. i know it very well because it always happens to me.

i know i'm not very interesting. i know i'm not always nice. i know very well i have plenty of 'insert foot in mouth' moments. i know i'm weird, not by choice.

i have this urge to crawl back into my shell. but i'm a sucker for pain. i'll just put myself out there once again to get shot right through my body.

urgh. i haven't slept a wink in more than 28hrs and FOR GOD'S SAKE i can't bloody fall asleep. sometimes i hate my body clock.

this week was rough. driving everyweek. but i still fail the bloody test because of the dumbassed vertical parking which i nail perfectly almost everytime and have never even touched the bloody pole, i actually mounted the damn kerb. fuck lah. during the warm up it was already different. i knew it. the car was the same model, i use the same benchmarks, but fuck. my dad was like maybe you were nervous. right i freaked out before the test but i was pretty calm during it. proof? i nailed everything else and recieved a grand total of 2 demerit points after the test. but the dumbass mount kerb was an immediate failure. ahh, fuck. it's like, i can't blame the testor, he didn't make me feel stressed. i can't blame the car (theoratically). i'm not sure i can even blame myself. urgh. which is why i'm pissed. really pissed.

to cheer me up, jia and jun watched pirates with me. (don't worry fidz, i can rewatch it) it was pretty funny, since being fans, me and jia knew this was a middle film. as in, no real conclusion. but jun went in expecting a full movie and was of course bummed out about the ending. XD hahahas. poor kid. well, at least we were seating in a theater full of blonde head people. hahahas. i love great world city on weekday mornings and afternoons. =)

after that, i went home for a futile attempt to nap since i had the tabola(nus og) gathering at fookchee dickson's house. it was all the way at pasir ris can. -_- me and mh arrived like damn late, thanks to her job which i hate. anyways, it was pretty silly and fun. spent the whole night playing dumb games, gossiping in code, played more dumb games and did plenty of random conversations. XD hahahas. as (if i'm not wrong) brandon put it, we found out more about certain people in this one night than we did in the 5 days camp. hahs.

i got accepted to be a freshie councillor for oweek. almost everyone in my og who signed up got in. hahs. this will be awesome. XD

and now i must continue my futile attempt at napping before rushing off to tuition. urgh. i beg myself to sleep.

right, yes may, amy and serene took time out of their busy busy schedule to celebrate my birthday ^^. it was sweet and lovely and they got me a pretty present. ^^ wahahahas. of course, just last night, i met up with mh and fidz and headed down to holland. wahahahas, it was wonderful!!! we had a great time pigging out at brekos then discovering this ultra arty-farty interior designing shop..which sold earings and i bought this pair of funky clipons!! hahas!!

thanks kids, you guys make me feel all sweet and gooey and mushy inside. XD

and now for my prep talk:

today was my last driving lesson. tmr i will pass the test. i will holding the damn lisence tmr. tmr is the last time i lay my feet in there. I WILL PASS THE DAMN TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!

today i turn nineteen. hehs. i feel kinda old.

hung out with jia and jun and great world city. thanks for the pretty presents. =) we pigged out (jia with plenty of bread), bitched, people watched, pigged out somemore, talk silly giggly stuff. took stupid photos, took dumbass birthday videos XD bitched and had an all round good time. ^^ thanks for spending a great day with me kids! ^^

and once again thanks to all the wonderful people who gave me their birthday blessings and wishes. love all of you guys to itsy bitsy pieces. =)

right, i got tagged by soph a few days back, but i only just found out. XP
alright here goes....

What were you doing in secondary school?

HAHAHAHAHAHAS. where to start? hmmm, guess mainly i could say that in sec school i slacked. a lot. firstly in lower sec i was in 1/6 2/6....in which hmk was not a piority. let's put it this way, in sec 2, for the whole year, i handed in a grand total of 3 pieces of maths hmk. whee. then i was streamed into 3/4 4/4 after that, and all css people knows what kind of class we are. the only reason why i did do any studying at all was cause i did bio and thus had good old mr lai to get me to love bio and not suffer like the physic people. as for cca....well, i made a lot of friends there. have manged to keep in close contact with only jia..and serene, but serene is from 2/6 so she doesn't count. a lot of things happened in guides....but i can say there were plenty of high moments to outweigh the low ones. i miss sec school, but i'm also damn well pleased it's over. sec school was the best time of my live and also the saddest. but i know i've made friends for life there. =) love you guys.

Five of you favourite singers/bands?

firstly and never the last is of course SUM41. i love their music and lyrics. it makes me all angsty and fourteen years old all over again. =) next would probably be savage garden, their songs are cheesy and sappy, the singer looks male, has a girl's voice and they had only 2 cds. but something about them makes me feel very happy. go figure. then there's robbie williams, voice like an angel and a badboy through and through. his songs are sometimes so catchy and sometimes so beautiful, what's not to like? i like michelle branch cause she just has that special...something that appeals to me. and last but not least....... i can't choose, only because there are so many songs i love (esp from the 90's) but not many singers/bands who interest me enough. hehs.

Five things you like doing?

the obvious being going on aimless romps either by myself or friends. second being stuck home on a rainy day with the aircon on full blast, under my blanket reading a book. third watching shows which are so damn witty they make me feel intelligent. fourth is new, kudos to mh for introducing it to me, it's taking walks. just anywhere. i love to do it in my estate. and fifth is to sing out loud when there's no one at home. XD

Five things you would never buy, wear or get?

CIGARETTES
leopard printed anything.
mashi maro (damnit!!!! that rabbit is annoying)
CHILDREN (they can be bought. i just don't even want to be given one)
a $100 burger ( i don't care if there's effing truffles in there. i'll pay 2 bucks and go macs.)

Five favourites?

my phone (but i'm not saying no to the maroon v3i XD)
starwars anything.
my sims2 pc game (which maria has YET to return me!!!)
my laptop and it's power of wireless internet
shoes.

Five people to do this?

her highness, maria, mh, may and shijia. hahs!!

2006 MTV Movie Awards - Gnarls Barkley

i used to abhore techno...but now i even kinda like semi-techno songs like this...and even fatboysilm. but the extremes like....those without lyrics(i forgot the correct term) are pushing it. i mean even 'would you' and 'superstar dj' have about 3 lines worth of lyrics. anyways, I LOVE CHEWY IN THIS VID!!!!

i hate name dropping and feeling inadequate.

i should not be allowed to feel like shit when my bloody birthday is round the corner.

someone do me a favour and cheer me up.

i am like completely and truely ill. i can't take 3 breaths without hacking out coughs. meeh. i do hope i feel better on my bday tho. cause i wanna go out. i wanna hang. i wanna do crazy stuff. whee.

neeways, mh has uploaded her photos but they're on shutterfly so that'll take me eons to put them up here. thus, i shall procrastinate and wait till i get mh online and force her to zip em up and mail em to me. hehs.

sooo..the MILK run wasn't bad. seeing as how we ran for a grand total of maybe half a km and walked the rest? hahas, but the 4k was really fast. likely cause we were chatting the whole way. but we are such anti-socials. we reached zouk like 15mins before the run. only ran during the MILK run to get out of heat or crowds. and immediatly left after our run and escaped to great world city to eat ice kachang. XD

oh we are standing infront of the famous 'girl guides' milo truck....sure brings back much of those css crosscountry days. hehs.

anyways, yesterday i did smth that once again falls under the 'MUST NEVER EVER LET PARENTS KNOW' file. i rode a motorbike yesterday, as a pillion of course. but still my parents would skin me and even my daredevil brother will have my head. motorcycles are like taboo in my house.

so who's bike was it? zhehong's. one of me and mh's og mate from the art's camp. see, we were supposed to meet mh at queensway for a little shopping and dinner. but dear mh had to ot....for like 2hrs. so we decided to head down to lot1 to meet up instead cause by the time she got to queensway, we probably had to head home. so zhehong drove he bike with me in tow all the way to cck. being the whimp i am, i was damn terrified can. and i was wearing a damn skirt. but it wasn't that bad. (he did go like really slowly for me. hahs.)

infact, after having the experience of driving, i find bikes alot more safer, provided you don't speed and be reckless. i find it much easier to control and manuver than a car. so mh, when your parents allow you to learn, you've got my support. =)

urgh. thinking about cars reminds me of my driving test next week. i sooooo wanna pass!!!!!!!!!

cough...ahem...cough....

i have like, the world's sexiest voice right now.

four days of solid screaming with about 3hrs of sleep each night does that to you. but damn, art's camp was a hell lot of fun. mah og was tabola, under the green house tigara. mah og was cool. hahs, we were united in the slacker ways. (i always seem to get this kind of og. XD). sure, we cheered pretty loudly when we needed too, but we were always slacking off and walking to our stations instead of running. hehs. neeways, more on art's camp when mh gets her energy back and uploads the pics. watch this space.

the art's camp really drained me, i've not only lost my voice, but the night i came back my temp was up to 39degrees and i didn't even realised it till my mum stuffed the thermometer into my mouth. now although the fever's gone, i seem to have got the flu which has led to me coughing like i've got TB. hehs. i need to build up my immunity or smth.

anyways, being a sucker for punishment, i'm going for the MILK run tmr with her highness and maria. i think i'll have to crawl. wish me luck kids.