today, or rather yesterday i had the most ridicuous outing with fidz and elaine. we met up to give fidz a farewell cause this kid's gonna go to london on fri and wont be back for 6weeks!!
panic attack
We'll totally miss you kid!!!!! have a safe trip and don't forget our gifts!!! x)
panic attack
anyway, we walked around marina, watched pink pantha which was so WTF and funny. everyone in the theater was laughing thier asses off. then we went to the esplanade and took pictures and pointless videos. we are abusing bluetooth like there's no tmr. hahas.
panic attack
oh, the 7/11 at citylink CLOSES. wtf? arn't they supposed to be like 24/7? it's not like citylink closes or anything....and it was only 1030 when we went there to satisfy fidz's chocolate cravings.... weird.

PANIC ATTACK.
so the whole day i had been having sudden burst of panic of my results. i'm gonna be honest and say i'm terrified.

people have been telling me that what's done is done, you can't do anything now. and don't worry you'll do fine...all sorts of consolation. but i can't help it. even tho mh says i studied hard and plenty with her, there's this little voice in my head claiming i didn't do enough. i didn't study enough. i wasn't well prepared. and that when i get my results i'll burst into tears. not of joy, if only. it's this little nagging feeling. pure torture.

all my life, the goal was NUS. but now, more than ever, that goal seems so far out of reach. there are so many other options. my dad has been pressuring me to look at other options because of my utter lack in confidence in my results. but honestly, i can't weigh any other options till i know the one i've been working for all my short life is gone.

i've never felt so unconfident with myself. it's both scary and reflecting. it makes me feel lost and utterly helpless. i keep picturing myself getting results of the worst senario. it makes my heart skip a beat.

i dont think i'll be sleeping tonight.