insercurity.

how far does insercurity consumes you? only skin deep? or does it seep through the pores of your skin and slowly wraps around your heart with a death grip? today i watched as the pretty girl in the skimpy clothes clutched her boyfriend's arm a little tighter as another girl in even skimpier clothes strolled past. i watched as the guy with the converse cap steal many looks at the girl sitting in the corner for a full hour until she left, still he sat there. i watched as the lady in heels sat in the cafe all alone, clutching her bag to her chest as she tried to immerse herself in her book, only to appear selfconcious as she looked up every 5 minutes and adjusted her hair constantly.

i was reading the murphy's law book. the author mused that our 'mirror nerves' cause us to act one way alone and another in company, why the public's opinion so greatly affects and the 'monkey see monkey do' syndrom.

i disagree. i believe insercurity cause us to act differently in public. it causes us to take the safe route and just agree with what the majority says even if the majority turns out just to be one person with a dommineering personality and is so dreadfully wrong. it is this insercurity which prevents us from listening to ourselves although 'ourselves' probably has a better track record.

insercurity causes us to be defensive which is frequently misread as hostility. which is why i think singaporeans are seen as unfriendly. say what you want, singapore is still a conservative asian society which perhaps have only taken baby steps to being more liberal. being conservative and so damn occupied with how others see us is how insercurity graps us by the neck. (seriously, everybody is NOT staring at you, they're too busy wondering if you're staring at them)

deep down we're all just fat insercure little girls.

what makes people outstanding is even with insercurity gripping them to the point of insanity, they still go ahead and do what they want to do anyway.