insercurity.

how far does insercurity consumes you? only skin deep? or does it seep through the pores of your skin and slowly wraps around your heart with a death grip? today i watched as the pretty girl in the skimpy clothes clutched her boyfriend's arm a little tighter as another girl in even skimpier clothes strolled past. i watched as the guy with the converse cap steal many looks at the girl sitting in the corner for a full hour until she left, still he sat there. i watched as the lady in heels sat in the cafe all alone, clutching her bag to her chest as she tried to immerse herself in her book, only to appear selfconcious as she looked up every 5 minutes and adjusted her hair constantly.

i was reading the murphy's law book. the author mused that our 'mirror nerves' cause us to act one way alone and another in company, why the public's opinion so greatly affects and the 'monkey see monkey do' syndrom.

i disagree. i believe insercurity cause us to act differently in public. it causes us to take the safe route and just agree with what the majority says even if the majority turns out just to be one person with a dommineering personality and is so dreadfully wrong. it is this insercurity which prevents us from listening to ourselves although 'ourselves' probably has a better track record.

insercurity causes us to be defensive which is frequently misread as hostility. which is why i think singaporeans are seen as unfriendly. say what you want, singapore is still a conservative asian society which perhaps have only taken baby steps to being more liberal. being conservative and so damn occupied with how others see us is how insercurity graps us by the neck. (seriously, everybody is NOT staring at you, they're too busy wondering if you're staring at them)

deep down we're all just fat insercure little girls.

what makes people outstanding is even with insercurity gripping them to the point of insanity, they still go ahead and do what they want to do anyway.

If God had a name
What would it be?
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask
If you had just one question?

Yeah yeah God is great
Yeah yeah God is good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face
What would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah God is great
Yeah yeah God is good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody callin' on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome


Yeah yeah God is great
Yeah yeah God is good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home

Like a holy rollin' stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home

Nobody callin' on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome...

-What If God Was One Of Us, Joan Osborne

people really have to stop msging or calling me before 10am everyday. damn it! i'm not awake.

i like to sleep in. and wake up only when my body does it on its on.

was supposed to go to the botanic gardens today. ended at...jp. ick. someone bring me to the zoo please.