blink 182 songs make me feel sad.
don't stick the finger at me. sometimes when songs arn't even sad, i can feel sad.
i just take things differently. meeh.

i remember when i first started disliking chinese, in primary school. it was primary 3 i think. it was the only subject i didn't get over 80 in. i was so bummed out. i really started to hate it. in sec school i had this tuition teacher who specialises in...well...the types who are so hopeless in chinese the aim is to pass.

my tuition told my mom i wasn't stupid, that my chinese isn't as bad as it seemed. the reason i wasn't performing was because i had formed such a mental block against chinese, i cringed at the sight of it.

i used to have nightmares about chinese tests.(lame, but true)

i really did hate the subject. so my tuition teacher bought me comic books. not only those type which costs $4.50. but a type by a local artist who had really simple comics, it cost ten odd(ripoff). it did improve my reading...but i really did not like chinese. with my weak foundation, an assignment whioch took others an hour to do took me 3. it was, if nothing else, depressing. when i went into nyjc, linlaoshi was really very nice. and the work she made us do did not requie us to think. it was drilling, memorising and less learning. the wrong way to teach chinese you may say, but it did equip me with enough chinese to pass my exams.

however i must say that my better than expected results for the chinese exam was mostly due to my sudden interest in comics. it was, believe it or not, from comics that i discovered the beauty of the chinese language. and i only know the skin of it. i realised how much more expressive the chinese language is compared to the english language.

really, the beginnings of the english language is nothing to be impressed about(no offence. hehs.)

so it's kinda sad that after so many years of schooling, me evelyn of the chinese race is not fluent in the chinese language. it's humbling and shameful to think that i cannot master my own language. i cannot be proud of my mother tounge like the italians or malays, because i barely know it.

hell, even my english is not up to standard.