The comfort of it all.

After two and a half weeks of being on course, I don't want to go back to work.

I like being with people my age. There are minimal awkwardness. We do things together. The company is great. The venue is near my house, I wake up about an hour later. Honestly I'm just much happier.

People really matter.

The last three days better pass slowly.

:(

CRY YOUR HEART OUT PLEASE

such is life.

It's filled with challenges and obstacles to take you down. And they will. Today tomorrow, yesterday. We all fall.

Yesterday I went back to my office because on Friday I managed to have 10mins to check my email and found 236 emails waiting for me. Each demanding my full attention and abilities I do not have.

Yesterday I cried. Because I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle the stress and everything everyone was expecting of me.

And and and, after my cry I felt so much better. Suddenly my problems didn't seem so big, practical solutions appeared in my mind. Never mind that many things aren't settled, I am on my path to solving them. You can never finish work, but its always great to get things going.

I've always felt a good cry may not help the problems directly, but it allows me to release my anger, frustration and grief. It clears my mind and I think better. At the very least my thoughts don't gear towards anger so eagerly.

So, at the end of the day, things will get better. They will get worse for sure. But everything will be alright.

everything will be alright.

It's like leaving my baby ALL ALONE

So, I've finally been left to hold the reins alone for a week and I won't lie, it's terribly stressful. But I think so far I'm doing okay. There's just many things to learn and I'm lucky to have so many people to help me. But I really think an area I definitely brush up on is how to handle people and their emotions better. Think on your feet!

Much of the week was spent interacting with my minions as well. They really are nice boys and once I've gotten them to like me and treat me as a friend, they're actually very willing to help me and do my work. But to be very honest, they are so muddle headed sometimes I feel like my eyelids are going onto overdrive with the amount of eye-rolling I have to do. I really think they switch off their brains or are just not very smart. Some of the things they ask me I'm like........right.

So anyway I'll be away on course for 3 weeks and before I left I wrote this shit-ass long email detailing everything they need to do and every step of it. OMG. I can write my on IM. But I'm just so terrified while on course I get phone calls saying my branch is in a mess and my minions have created a big mess. Gaaaah, so worried right now.