My hands are tied.

For all my bitching about my job and the retarded people I meet because of it, I do actually like my job and enjoy working. But the recent week has shown me the most frustrating thing about my job. I have to help undeserving people cover their asses by incessant nagging, but when there truly comes a case where I really want to help the person, my hands are tied. Tied by the very rules and regulations I have to enforce to help maintain a more equal system. I have of course, long realised there is no such thing as perfect equality, that there will always be subjectivity. But still it hurts to see the deserving be rejected, forgotten, be on the wrong side with lady luck.

If nothing, this job is making me admire the tenacity of the human spirit in spite of the idiots I see as well.

I fall ill in the most dramatic of ways.

Food poisoning has once again paid a visit to my stomach. Gaah, it was so sudden, in the morning I was running around arranging the breast cancer talk and at about 11 my stomach started feeling weird. By lunch time I couldn't even drink water, and on the cab to the doctor's I puked. I pretty much ate nothing so it was all water, still not the greatest feeling.

But luckily it's the weekend, and I may be ill and have to cancel all my appointments but at least I get to do things like become a bona fide couch potato and watch marathons of criminal minds. One excellent thing about working, I can forget everything during the weekend. :)

You mourn what is lost, I, what could have been.

and you will always make my heart flutter in the wind

to bad, perhaps, it's a steel sheet.

but it's sort of nice this feeling,

the wake up call to a thousand what ifs.