Pray for Japan

As if the daily reports of the kindness and generosity of the Japanese is not enough, today on a more personal level I've felt it once again.

My Dad recently went to the funeral of the 5 year old child of one of his Japanese colleague. In return they gave him a freaking box of TWG tea bags. It's like if I lost my 5 year old child buying expansive gifts, or even simple gifts, whatever, would be the last thing on my mind.

It just shows, even during the toughest time, you can continue to have a societal based thinking.

It may be a different form of altruism, but still.

被感动了

What are you afraid of?

I fear being alone.

I don't need to be taken care of. I don't need someone to pull up a chair, to open a door. I don't need someone to pay my bills and buy me just because presents. I don't need the additional burden, then invasion of privacy. I don't need the smothering and phone calls. I don't need to be treated like porcelain.

I just don't want to be alone.

Because not knowing the sadness, the pining, the yearning, the disappointment, the need, the helplessness also means not knowing the joy, the fulfillment, the excitement, the rush through your head, your heart.


I'm tired of playing second fiddle to be honest. I want to be selfish and give 100% and get 150%, because that is exactly how tired I am.

But none of you can understand that.